Shut Up Before I give you Something Else to Cry About: A Trauma-Informed Memoir of Silence, Survival, and the Tears I Was Never Allowed to Cry

For years, those words lived in my body long after they stopped being spoken. This book is not just a story about what happened to me, It's about what happened inside me when I learned that crying was dangerous, silence was survival, and strength meant swallowing pain. From childhood discipline rooted in fear, to statutory rape at thirteen, to being labeled “troubled” instead of protected, I learned early how to survive without being seen. I learned to bury tears, override my body, and keep moving, even when my nervous system was screaming for rest, safety, and care. I carried that silence into church pews, courtrooms, classrooms, motherhood, marriage, and success. I carried it into my body, into tight breaths, clenched jaws, high blood sugar, overachievement, and a resilience that looked powerful on the outside but was rooted in unhealed wounds. This memoir traces how trauma travels through generations, how it hides in culture, discipline, and “doing the best we knew how,” and how it shows up years later in our health, relationships, and ability to feel joy.