Straight to Hell Memoir of an Ex-Evangelical Pastor

John Wesley Wilson was a pastor, a husband, and a father - until the truth he'd spent his life burying refused to stay hidden. Raised in poverty and shaped by abuse, Wilson found refuge in the church, where holiness meant obedience and salvation demanded surrender. But when he reached puberty and realized he was attracted to boys, he was taught that his very existence was a sin deserving death. Convinced that faithfulness would earn him healing, he married a woman and built the life he desperately wanted. Then his straight brother died of AIDS. Wilson took him off life support. Preached his funeral. And something inside him broke. The faith that once anchored him became a prison of shame and self-erasure. When he finally told his wife the truth, his life unraveled. He lost his family, his ministry, and the identity he'd spent decades constructing. Cast out by the church he once served, he fled and begged God to let him die. But death didn't come. Instead, Wilson began the slow, excruciating work of becoming who he truly was.