Series 2

Season 2 · 1985 · 6 episodes

Episodes

1Six Big BoobiesAfter the British airmen are gone for good – or so René thinks – there is still the problem of Herr Flick owning all three copies of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies (the original and two fakes), and while Herr Flick kidnaps Lieutenant Gruber (a former art house worker), the Colonel and the Captain start to plan their next move. All the while, René's widow Edith has found René's will, and being the sole beneficiary, goes on a spending spree with René's money to attract better suitors. And the British airmen return as nuns. They are last seen hidden in the piano.
2The Wooing of Widow ArtoisRené is caught in a dilemma when he must choose between the women he loves: his waitresses Yvette and Maria, and his wife Edith, who, as his widow, has all his money. Unfortunately, he cannot bring himself to woo Edith again, so Edith seeks the attention that she can get from other suitors in town.
3The Policeman ComethWe pick up the action mere moments after the close of the previous episode, as the airmen-filled cow narrowly escapes being milked by a German patrol while awaiting the landing of the plane. As they watch in disappointment, the plane does not land, and instead jettisoning two parachutes, one of which yields a new escape package; the other, Officer Crabtree, sent from "British Ontelligence Headquitters". Disguised as a policeman, he is supposed to blend in. Unfortunately, his French is abominable, getting the vowels wrong as often as not. Meanwhile, the plan to blow up the non-painting-filled knockwurst on its way to Hitler has hit a snag: René can't find anyone to blow up the train.
4Swiftly and With StyleAfter failing to destroy the train, which will take the copy of the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies to Hitler, René and the Captain are captured by the Resistance, only to be rescued by Herr Flick. The Colonel and the Captain are afraid that Hitler will understand that the painting is a copy, and prepare to escape to Switzerland. In the meantime, British agent in disguise, Officer Crabtree, has a new escape plan for the British airmen.
5The DuelRené tries to hide from the seconds of Monsieur Alphonse, the undertaker, but in his stead Lieutenant Gruber accepts the duel. However, the Colonel and the Captain want to save René and plan an exercise to "accidentally" kill Monsieur Alphonse. The plan is thwarted by Herr Flick, who has discovered that the sausage that was sent to Berlin containing the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies did not contain any painting – either real or fake. Herr Flick correctly assumes that the Colonel and the Captain stole the painting, and arrests them and cancels the exercise. Now René has to fight the duel on his own, while Yvette and Maria grieve on the sidelines and his wife Edith catches up on the gossip of the week.
6Herr Flick's RevengeHaving ran away from the duel with Monsieur Alphonse, René hides. He's rescued by Michelle of the Resistance who smuggles him back into the café dressed as a member of the Resistance, while she explains to Monsieur Alphonse that René is the bravest man in France. But Herr Flick has captured the Colonel and the Captain, and brings in René as well, and threatens to torture them unless they reveal where the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies is hidden. They are rescued by General Von Klinkerhoffen. With life back to normal, there's only the matter of getting the British airmen out. As the General imposes a curfew, Michelle's plan is a funeral for Madame Fanny.