Car 54, Where Are You?Season 21962 · 30 episodesEpisodes1Hail to the ChiefBecause their partnership has lasted so long, the secret service choose Toody and Muldoon to drive the president to the U.N. Unfortunately, Muldoon is incapacitated by the stress of ferrying his hero, Kennedy.2One Sleepy PeopleFrancis and Lucille get the wrong idea, while watching a steamy movie on TV, that each loves the other.3A Man Is Not an OxWhen a medical doctor sees similarities between two oxen yoked together for 10 years and Car 54's occupants, the boys try to behave out-of-sync, but fail.4Schnauser's Last RideThe boys recount what happened when Schnauser was taken off his mounted police route.5Toody & Muldoon Sing Along with MitchWhen the 53rd precinct Whippoorwills audition for Mitch Miller, it's clear which of the 4 is the problem, but who will tell Toody?6Occupancy, August 1stMrs. Bronson causes trouble again -- by moving in to her promised apartment on the day it was promised to her -- but it's not finished! Once again she's adept at deflecting all opponents.7Remember St. PetersburgA fortune-telling scam ring mistakes Leo as royalty, and calls Sylvia with the news. Another mistake has the con artists convincing an undercover Toody that he's royalty, and Leo's his brother.8That's Show BusinessMuldoon's sister Peggy lands a part in the play "Waiting for Wednesday" and the boys of the 53rd Precinct become financial backers before learning that it's a gritty play about police brutality.9Toody UndercoverToody winds up undercover as part of a mob ring. His intimate knowledge of the area (bank layouts, burglar alarms & patrolmen habits) makes him a better crook than cop.10I Hate Captain BlockWhen Toody takes care of Captain Block's parrot, he decides to teach it to talk. But this backfires when he says he hates Captain Block in front of the bird, and the parrot begins repeating it.11A Star Is Born in the BronxSylvia Schnauser goes into delusional rapture when asked to plug cookies on television.12Pretzel MaryThe boys finally bust a nasty nuisance in the Park - "Pretzel Mary". When they see her deplorable living conditions they replace her furniture - not realizing what they're taking away.13142 Tickets on the AisleWhen the boys of the 53rd Precinct suddenly show an interest in the clean and uplifting Broadway epic "Little Miss Pioneer," so does the prurient public.14Stop ThiefAfter overhearing the Captain rehearsing a play in his office, the boys think he's a kleptomaniac! They "cover" for him by re-stealing all his Xmas presents. Can they make things right by the end of Christmas Eve?15Je T'Adore MuldoonTo get girl-shy Francis to ask the Captain's niece to the Mardi Gras Ball, the 53rd conspires to boost his ego. Suddenly, he's a Casanova! Who will go to the Ball?16The White ElephantA gang buys the cursed eatery next to the bank to drill through the common wall into the vault -- but the boys of the 53rd stop by to see how they're doing, and help them establish a luncheonette instead.17Benny the Bookie's Last ChanceBenny's up for parole yet again, and the boys are sure he's going straight now. They set him up w/a candy store, and when he gets "in trouble" and tries mightily to get back in jail, the 53rd won't hear of it18The Presidential ItchAn unexpected challenger vies to unseat Muldoon in his bid to be reelected as president of the policeman's Brotherhood Club.19Toody & Muldoon Meet the RussiansThe boys chaperon two Russian ambassadors, and turn them into American capitalists.20Here We Go AgainMuldoon's father, Patrick was a police captain and a hero -- or was he?21The Star BoarderGunther and Lucille Toody are trying to make some extra money. They decide to rent a room,taking in a preacher as a paying boarder. He seems as honest as the day is long but is he actually who he says he is?22The Biggest Day of the YearAfter Tooday tells Muldoon that "today's a very important day",Muldoon,the men & high ranking officials,try to figure out why it is.23Here Comes CharlieThe boys of the 53rd Precinct attempt to help rehabilitate chronically drunk Charlie by finding him a job where he won't be tempted to drink, but the officers'regular visits to check up on Charlie have an unnerving effect on his teetotalist coworkers. A Larry Storch tour de force!24See You at the Bar MitzvahWhen the boys find out that no one is going to the Bar Mitzvah of one boy on their basketball team because of his hated father, they spring into action.25I've Been Here BeforeA criminal gang bases its heists on the plots of the television program "Crimebusters," which program is also one of Officer Toody's favorite shows.26Joan Crawford Didn't Say NoWhen a septuagenarian delicatessen owner reports he will be marrying Joan Crawford, the boys of the 53rd are sent out to bust the phony matrimonial service that promises to pair its clients with Hollywood movie stars.27Lucille Is 40Lucille is upset over turning 40, so Gunther decides to surprise her by buying her a wig for a birthday gift, a deceptively simple endeavor fraught with misunderstanding and melodrama when nosy Sylvia Schnauser stumbles upon the scheme.28The Loves of Sylvia SchnauserSylvia Schnauser helps the police dept. to set a trap for con artists posing as book publishers.29Puncher & JudyAt the begging and pleading of a girl (Shari Lewis) at a local beauty parlor, Toody and Muldoon enlist the help of champion boxer, (Sugar Ray Robinson) in a scheme to discourage a local male hair dresser at the same parlor from continuing his amateur boxing career.30The Curse of the SnitkinsA jinx arrives at the 53rd and continues his streak of bringing bad luck wherever he goes.Season 1
