Season 5

2007 · 20 episodes

Episodes

1The One With Lester's BeardNew members of the Team, Darren 'Daz' Staley and Rosie Vosser, accompanied by Dixie, chase down people who burgle houses just for the car keys. Rosie demonstrates her command of the Proactive Crim Radar and her hunch nets the thieves, while Daz breaks the car. A bit. Ronnie Walsh (unseen) chases a stolen van through Slough whose driver seems to be allergic to driving on the correct side of the road. Despite being stung, he’s not giving up – or at least not until he runs out of road. Oops. Chris (check out the facial hair!) and Simon participate in yet more Falconry to nab a major drug dealer. Simon arrests a guy who is much bigger than he is while the rest of the team take down the door.
2The One Where 'The Nose' Proves his WorthChris and Simon are in Aylesbury keeping tabs on a suspicious car which their crim radars are peaking over. The pull, needless to say, results in a making off. The driving is crazy – but the heavy traffic frustrates the chase. Charlie and Ruffy head off to track down icky distraction burglars in Chesham. They spot a likely looking vehicle and speak to the owner who, while not being a burglar, has (guess what) only just bought it and can’t remember who he’s insured it with. Interestingly, he is quite happy to give up his car despite the recent purchase! This may be because he never reapplied for his license after being disqualified and thus hasn’t got one.
3The One With the Ensuite VanSimon and Chris are in High Wycombe to help clamp down on smash and grabs from cars. They aren’t in time to nab them on site, so they head off and help to box it in with a bit of help from Charlie and Lloydy. Not surprisingly, the thefts (of portable sat navs) are funding a drug habit. Chris and Simon, in Milton Keynes respond to a 999 call about blokes hanging around a car suspiciously. Simon recognises them, and Chris spots their ‘conveniently found’ screwdrivers. Guess what they’re doing, then? Even though the car they’re hanging around is abandoned, it’s still a bit on the suspicious – and one of them really, really doesn’t want to be arrested without realising that it’s all part of the Street Caution process. His behaviour leads to a full arrest, and Chris nearly has his arm bitten off by the car door! Rosie and Daz are in Reading and come across a madly speeding transit which they turn and head after.
4The One With the Birds in the Wallosie and Daz are in Reading to nab a pair of suspected armed robbers, but still have time to indulge in a spot of ‘I spy’ with some of the local boys. The first is nabbed easily enough, while the other needs a bit of persuasion to open the front door of his flat – though he can’t see who’s out there because Daz has covered the spy hole with his fingertip. Quite why the guy has two sets of body armour in the flat is not clear… Charlie and Ruffy are in Oxford helping out a couple of PCSOs who are getting grief from a driver at the scene of a crash. One of them really doesn’t like their interest in the slightest. Quite why he feels like this is a mystery as he’s perfectly legitimate and has nothing to worry about!
5The One With the Return of the GodfatherIn Milton Keynes again, Simon and Chris are taking part in a crackdown on drugs – but are called in to help Mark and Huey (TV-34) chase down a fleeing car. They use the warren of streets on an estate to try to cut off the car – only for the occupants to decamp. They spot someone, lose him, nearly run down some colleagues(!) before Simon heads out on foot before they finally nab their suspect in a garden hiding behind a hedge! Charlie and Ruffy, nearing the end of their shift, wait hopefully outside a Milton Keynes takeaway in hopes of grabbing some cheap nosh at closing time. They’re then foiled by a call for assistance to find some lads suspected of nicking beer from an offy earlier in the evening.
6The One With the Dog-Inspired TidyupChris and Simon are on another falconry job in Aylesbury to nab a dealer who hides his stash down a country lane. They stop the car abruptly and it takes three of them to get cuffs on the passenger! They’re carrying a rather startling amount of money, and they eventually find the stash (of weed) in the bushes. Now in Milton Keynes, Chris and Simon step in to disrupt what looks like a drugs deal between two youngsters. One of them just happens to be a passer by, while the other is very good natured at first – until they find the bag of a white substance which he claims is ‘milkshake powder’. Trouble is, even if the ‘milk powder’ is innocuous, he was intending to sell it as ‘drugs’ and could end up being done for deception! Back on Falconry duty in Aylesbury, Chris and Simon are at the forefront of another raid on a dealer.
7The One Where Chris does Martial-Arty StuffRosie and Daz are in Reading following a squeak on their on-board ANPR over a high-performance Audi with a dodgy numberplate. It flees – demonstrating just how high-performance it is; which is, very. Despite this, he can’t outrun them on wheels and ditches the car. Time to call in the chopper – but to no avail. While the search goes on, Rosie has a great time trying to load a car onto a recovery lorry with one of its tyres off. Charlie and Ruffy (in-car video only) are racing after a crazily speeding biker on the M1 who has no idea that they’re behind him, despite their lights and siren. Once he spots them, he indicates he’ll stop by waving his hand – and he’s still going at over 100! Chris and Simon are in Milton Keynes on a mission to disrupt drug deals.
8The One Where Ruffy Corrects Faulty GeographyChris and Simon are in Milton Keynes, keeping an eye on some shady characters around a phone booth. A quick check reveals that they are following a known pattern of congregating at the booth, before heading off to another location, which (coincidentally) has a drug problem. Someone drives up to the shady characters, hands something over, then screeches off like the proverbial bat out of hell when Chris appears on the horizon. Though quite why he looks so mystified at being dragged out of a car following a high octane pursuit is the biggest question. Possibly because he’s trying to swallow the evidence…who’s the lucky devil who’s going to have to pick up a sim card covered in spit, then? Still in Milton Keynes, still with Chris and Simon, following up on a report of driver with no license, insurance or anything.
9The One With the Staggeringly Quick ChangeRonnie and Roma, out on patrol in Slough, when they pass a car whose occupant hastily hides something. He claims he’s had nothing to drink, despite having booze breath and a can sitting provocatively in the passenger footwell. The car may not be moving, but the keys are in the ignition so, in legal terms, he’s in charge of the car. Once back at the nick, however, the reading on the intoximeter causes jaws to drop in astonishment!
10The One With the Shaky Shaky ImpressionLloydy and Jim are out in the country hunting down a suspected burglar. Their attempt to block him fails and the driver is off down the pavement like a weasel on speed – only to come face to face with another unit around the corner. Much shock and awe ensues. Fortunately they’ve got the right man – given the damage to his car! Chris and Simon are in Newport Pagnell, also looking for a pair of opportunistic ‘walk in’ thieves. They call in Mark and Huey to cover the back of the lucky bungalow (with a green door, no less – cue another vocal rendition from The Nose!) before walking over – all decked out with the enforcer! Rosie and Daz are in Mortimer to take part in a raid on a guy who has one or two bladed weapons.
11The One Where Chris and Simon are Everywhere...Rosie and Daz are in Reading for Operation Fanta (seriously!) looking for burglars who steal car keys to get at the increasingly hard-to-nick cars. Called in to help with a chase, they head off after a 4X4 which is able to get over the sump breaker in the road, when they can’t. Ouch! Back in Slough – Simon and Chris are looking for people pinching stuff out of parked cars. After an easy stop, a suspicious vehicle (fortuitously borrowed off a Mr John Thomas). It squeaks on databases, but the passenger doesn’t, so a visit to the nick is required for identification (mainly because he’s a convicted burglar who’s escaped from prison!).
12The One With the Titchy BikerCharlie and Ruffy are off to catch a thief in Bracknell – someone who’s pinched some alloy wheels and thrown them into the back of a stolen convertible. Using much vaunted ‘local knowledge’ they find the car. The wheels have been left lying around, but they spot the suspect and head after him – Charlie on foot and Ruffy in the car, which is why, when he takes to his heels too, he’s able to go tearing past his winded colleague and catch the suspect. Cheat. Ever generous, Charlie even finds some suitable reading material for the prisoner while he waits in the cell – though whether he really wanted to read about botched boob jobs is debatable… Iestyn and Boris are in Windsor at stupid o’clock looking for a man reportedly trying to break into a car.
13The One With the Volv...oh...Simon and JK are in Amersham to assist with a raid on a suspected drug dealer. They’re going in mob handed – with two other Tango Victor teams and the drug squad. The suspect is, not surprisingly, displeased at their arrival, but is hastily arrested while his flat is raided. Cue the usual, in depth searches, which turn up some digital scales and some cocaine. In Reading with Rosie and Daz, coming to the end of their shift, are called in to assist with a driver who is both banned and not supposed to be in Reading. He’s fled on foot and is now lurking somewhere in alleyways.
14The One With Boris's First ArrestRuffy and Charlie are in Aylesbury on the look out for a female drug dealer. Charlie catches up with her and an apparent customer, and they’re both detained for a drugs search, much of Charlie’s explanation being given with a pen between his teeth. Back at the nick, the lady is found to have hidden her stash in the plastic case used to contain a Kinder Surprise Egg toy. The bloke also has some, but the explanation about where she had her stash leads to much embarrassment and giggling during the piece to camera… Charlie and Ruffy are now in Bracknell and find themselves behind a van with a very odd looking number plate.
15The One Where Lloydy Does his own StuntsLloydy and Jim are in Slough on Falconry duty. A pusher’s been disturbed and fled on a bike, and they’re soon on his trail. Lloydy manages to stop the pedalled flight by crashing into him and bowling the pair of them over! A quick search reveals no drugs, so Jim heads off with a local beat officer to see if he can find any hiding places along the escape route. This also proves fruitless, unlike the strip search back at the nick where his mixture of wraps wrapped in a hanky falls out of his underpants. Rosie and Daz are on tour in Slough, and pull a car that their ANPR suggests has no tax. No one in the car has a full license either, so there’s no insurance.
16The One With the Victory WiggleYorkie and Dixie are in Reading on a Burglary exercise when they’re called to a break-in. They hear that the suspects have made off in a blue Saxo and commence the hunt. A local unit spots them lurking, which leads to a spot of shock and awe. There’s some stolen property in the vehicle from the property that they’d just fled from – good call. Still in Reading, a bunch of young men make the foolish mistake of racing past Yorkie and Dixie while hurling abuse. They are brusquely stopped and expected to account for themselves.
17The One With the Appropriate AdvertOut in Reading with Rosie and Daz on patrol, when she spots a car with a broken window. The driver seems to be taking an endless amount of time to stop, and a pursuit ensues, briefly. For some reason, the driver seems amazed at being stopped, and it appears that his befuddlement is booze-related. He’s known to Rosie, who’s previously stopped him for no insurance. With Lloydy and Jim alongside, Daz breathalyses the driver, who claims that Daz is the guy who blew in the tube! There’s also the concern that the car’s nicked, given that the window’s broken, and the driver seems eager to shout something across to his passenger, while insisting he’s only recently bought it.
18The One With Icky SickyThe team is in Maidenhead on ANPR duty, Lloydy and Jim follow behind a car that’s pinged the system, and manage to get to him in time to notice he’s been ‘fiddling with something’ in the car. Suspecting drugs, and possibly even dealing, the search begins. Jim suspects that a stash has gone down the guy’s trousers, so they go back to the nick for some privacy. One stash of ‘e’ later, they’re off to the custody suite to process him for dealing as it’s a sufficient quantity to be dealt.
19The One With the Key DilemmaRosie and Daz are out in Reading looking for burglars, and head to a BT exchange where a van is being broken into live on CCTV. Pretty much every unit nearby is converging on it – though the Bat Car has local knowledge on its side so our duo get there first. There’s an alarm going, and ladders leaning against a wall, but the suspect has vanished. The chopper’s been called in, but there’s a van parked a few streets away which has a history of burglary attached to it. En route, eagle-eyed Rosie spots a different van with someone lying under it!
20The One Where Lester Bites BackRosie and Daz are out in Reading on a joint operation targeting burglars. They’re called in to chase up a car that’s been nicked from outside a house; the driver of which has crashed it into some bollards. They’ve attempted to move it, given up and fled. With immensely limited descriptions, the team don’t hold out much hope of finding them, but hole up in hopes of catching them out. The tactic pays off as they spot a possible suspect, who they leave with a dog handler and chase after another who vanishes into the night; so they do swapsies with the dog handler and process their first find, who turns out to be the car owner’s son! Lloydy and Jim are in Windsor on the lookout for thieves, but instead encounter a poorly driven car and a motorbike apparently using a car park as a drag strip.