The Colbert ReportSeason 52009 · 161 episodesEpisodes1John KingStephen congratulates John King and the rest of the media on getting Obama elected.2Matt MillerMatt Miller says the government must make sure we have basic securities like health care and pensions.3Benicio Del ToroBenicio Del Toro talks about meeting Castro to prepare for "Che."4Lawrence LessigLawrence Lessig says the outdated copyright laws have turned our kids into criminals.5Anthony RomeroAnthony Romero believes it will be a huge mistake if Barack Obama doesn't close Guantanamo immediately.6Niall FergusonNiall Ferguson explains how money is a relationship between a creditor and a debtor.7Alan KhazeiBarack Obama may be over-marketed, and Alan Khazei wants Americans to volunteer.8David Gregory, Shepard FaireyA look back on President Bush's relationship with the media -- Stephen wonders if tonight's the night they finally do it and Shepard Fairey's "Hope" poster belongs to everyone.9Frank RichFrank Rich says George W. Bush delivers a message of hope for mediocrity.10Jabari AsimTonight Stephen welcomes Washington Post columnist and author of The N Word: Who Can Say It, Who Shouldn't, and Why, Jabari Asim.11Elizabeth AlexanderElizabeth Alexander explains to Stephen the difference between a metaphor and a lie.12Jon MeachamTonight Stephen welcomes Newsweek editor and author of American Lion: Andrew Jackson in the White House, Jon Meacham.13Chris Mooney, Ed YoungObama changes Bush's policy on science, and Ed Young thinks married people should have more sex.14Philippe PetitDocumentary, "Man on Wire"15Paul McCartney, Denis Dutton16John PodestaPresident and CEO, Center for American Progress17Dan ZaccagninoThe government collapses in Iceland, and Stephen gets mad at Dan Zaccagnino.18Henry Louis Gates Jr.Henry Louis Gates, Jr. says Abraham Lincoln was always against slavery, but he wasn't a fan of black people.19Steve MartinActor, "The Pink Panther 2"20James Surowiecki, Jonah LehrerStephen salutes the Boy Scouts, and Jonah Lehrer discusses the neuroscience of decision-making.21TV on the RadioStephen welcomes musical guest TV On The Radio.22Robert BallardIt's tough times for the Republican Party, and Stephen gives a shout out to a former employee.23Eleanor Holmes Norton, Steven PinkerNew York Times article, "My Genomic Self"24David Ross, Ed Colbert, Adam GopnikAdam Gopnik claims that faith and fear no longer rule our lives because of Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin.25Father James Martin, Helen FisherTonight Stephen welcomes the chief scientific advisor for chemistry.com, anthropology professor and author of Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type, Helen Fisher.26Cliff SloanCliff Sloan believes that Marbury v. Madison is significant because it established the rule of law.27John FettermanMayor John Fetterman believes Braddock, PA is a great place to spend some of the stimulus money.28Kris KristoffersonStephen wants to know how Kris Kristofferson can be a country musician and a liberal at the same time.29David ByrneLate at night, who does David Byrne fear David Byrne is?30Mark BittmanPresident Obama taxes the rich to pay for universal health care, and South Carolina may finally end gun prostitution.31Carl WilsonCarl Wilson tries to understand the popularity of Celine Dion in "Let's Talk About Love" and will NASA name part of the space station after Stephen if he changes his name to Stephen Urine Filtration System?32Steven JohnsonSteven Johnson talks about Joseph Priestley, the man who first realized that plants actually create the oxygen we breathe.33Lisa HanniganLisa Hannigan sewed the cover, liner notes and lyrics of her album "Sea Sew."34William Gerstenmaier, Dr. Jay KeaslingTonight Stephen welcomes microbiologist and member of the Joint BioEnergy Institute, Dr. Jay Keasling. Also Stephen talks with NASA's associate administrator for space operations Bill Gerstenmaier about the Kepler Probe and other space exploration.35Howard FinemanTonight Stephen welcomes Newsweek correspondent and author of 'The Thirteen American Arguments: Enduring Debates that Define and Inspire Our Country', Howard Fineman.36Simon Johnson, Peter SingerPeter Singer urges Stephen to give money to poor people rather than enjoying it himself.37Jonathan Chait, Neil GaimanTonight Stephen welcomes the author of 'The Graveyard Book'.38David GrannTonight Stephen welcomes the author of 'The Lost City of Z: A Tale of Deadly Obsession in the Amazon'.39Juan ColeTonight Stephen welcomes the author of 'Engaging the Muslim World'.40John McCardellTonight Stephen welcomes the president of Choose Responsibility.41Derrick PittsThe guest tonight is Derrick Pitts, Chief Astronomer at The Franklin Institute.42David PlotzDavid Plotz, Author of 'Good Book LP' talks to Stephen tonight.43Dambisa MoyoAuthor of "Dead Aid", Dambisa Moyo is the guest on tonight's show.44Biz StoneOne of the co-founders of Twitter is the guest for tonight's show.45Tom Brokaw, Rich LowryTonight Stephen welcomes the co-author of Banquo's Ghosts, Rich Lowry.46Queen NoorTonight Stephen welcomes Jordan's Queen Noor.47Phil BronsteinTonight Stephen welcomes the editor at large for the San Francisco Chronicle, Phil Bronstein.48Bart EhrmanTonight Stephen welcomes Bible expert and author of Jesus, Interrupted: Revealing the Hidden Contradictions in the Bible (And Why We Don't Know About Them), Bart Ehrman.49Sunita L. Williams, Susie OrbachTonight Stephen welcomes psychotherapist and author of Bodies, Susie Orbach. Also, Stephen talks with NASA's Deputy Chief, Astronaut Office at the Johnson Space Center, Sunita Williams about the naming of the new node on the International Space Station.50Jim LehrerTonight Stephen welcomes the anchor of PBS' NewsHour and author of Oh, Jonny, Jim Lehrer.51Kanishk Tharoor, Doug KmiecTonight Stephen welcomes the former head of the Office of Legal Council for both President Reagan and George Bush Sr., and author of Can a Catholic Support Him? Asking the Big Questions about Barack Obama, Doug Kmiec. Also, Stephen talks with the associate editor for opendemocracy.net, Kanishk Tharoor.52Ken Quinn, Sheriff Joe ArpaioSheriff Joe Arpaio denies that he focuses too much on illegal immigration.53Coach Mike KryzewskiTonight Stephen talks with Duke University men's basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski.54Ira GlassTonight Stephen talks with host of This American Life, Ira Glass.55Elizabeth BintliffTonight Stephen welcomes the West Africa Program Officer for Heifer International, Elizabeth Bintliff.56The DecemberistsTonight Stephen welcomes musical group The Decemberists.57David GrossTonight Stephen welcomes journalist and author of 'Dumb Money: How Our Greatest Financial Minds Bankrupted the Nation', Daniel Gross. Also, Stephen talks with war correspondent Richard Engel.58David KesslerTonight Stephen welcomes former FDA commissioner and author of The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite, David Kessler.59Jonathan Alter, Ethan NadelmanTonight Stephen welcomes the founder and executive director of the Drug Policy Alliance, Ethan Nadlemann.60J.J. AbramsThe Prescott Group needs a bailout, and J.J. Abrams reveals clues to Stephen's Persian Gulf mystery.61Cliff Sloan, Paul RieckhoffCliff Sloan believes that Marbury v. Madison is significant because it established the rule of law and Paul Rieckhoff wants to make sure returning veterans get education, employment and health care support.62Laurie GarrettPresident Obama's approval numbers are at 67%, and public health expert Laurie Garrett is here to shed some light on the swine flu.63Mitchell JoachimIt's Bring Your Savior to Work Day, and Mitchell Joachim wants to build carbon-neutral cities.64Jeff DanielsTonight Stephen welcomes actor Jeff Daniels Also, Stephen talks with the vice president of policy at Demos.org, Tamara Draut about credit cart reform.65Ron HowardTonight Stephen welcomes the producer & director of Angels & Demons, Ron Howard. Also, Stephen talks with the head of Latin American Division of the Council on Foreign Relations, Julia Sweig about Cuba.66Michael PollanTonight Stephen welcomes the author of In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto, Michael Pollan.67Yusuf IslamDonald Trump allows Miss California to keep her crown, the DonorsChoose competition continues, and Yusuf performs.68Meghan McCainMeghan McCain loves the Republican Party and wants to save it from the people trying to make it more extreme.69Walter KirnRepublicans find a way to make us love them again, and a Difference Maker stands up to the government.70Seth ShostakTorture memo author John Yoo gets a newspaper column, and Nancy Pelosi says the CIA lied to her.71Green DayStephen reveals most of the Indian election results, and Green Day talks about their album, "21st Century Breakdown."72Jeffrey Toobin, Sen. Byron DorganRepublicans could lose their Latino voter, and you can see Stephen's Persian Gulf destination from Sarah Palin's house.73Katty KayThe FDA challenges medical claims made by Cheerios, and Jim Moran protects kids from erectile dysfunction advertising.74Eric SchlosserCalifornia allows some gay couples to stay married, and Obama invites Iran to celebrate 4th of July.75Dag Soderberg, David ByrneWikipedia takes on the Church of Scientology, and the latest on abstinence-only education will be worth the wait.76General Raymond OdiernoGeneral Ray Odierno steps up to the plate to be Stephen’s first guest in Iraq.77Specialist Tareq Salha, Sgt. Robin BalcomStephen welcomes Sergeant Robin Balcom and Specialist Tareq Salha to his international desk of wisdom and truthiness.78Lieutenant General Charles JacobyTom Hanks and Stephen prepare a care package, and Charles H. Jacoby Jr. picks his favorite soldier.79Stephen broadcasts from Iraq, Command Sgt. Major Frank GrippeGeorge W. Bush praises the troops, and Frank A. Grippe orders his officers to sing the Army song.80Austan GoolsbeeStephen gives advice to the next leader of North Korea, and asks Austan Goolsbee if his arm gets tired from throwing money at problems.81Karim Sadjadpour, Jim RogersAccording to polls, 120% say the Iranian election wasn't rigged, and Jim Rogers wants to reduce Duke Energy's carbon footprint.82Joshua Micah MarshallSonia Sotomayor belongs to an exclusive women's-only club, and Joshua Micah Marshall won't be doing the pointing and talking.83Paul MuldoonSomeone finally agrees to accept Gitmo detainees, and Stephen nails poet Paul Muldoon.84Simon SchamaStephen suggests punching randomly until we find the enemy among us, and Simon Schama writes a history of the future of America.85Howard Dean, David KilcullenDavid Kilcullen fights wars by taking a local approach to combat smaller guerrilla movements.86Matthew CrawfordThe Jonas Brothers don't abstain from making awesome rock, and Matthew Crawford believes in working with his hands.87Jim FourattABC turns their network over to Barack Obama, and Jim Fouratt meets the leader of the gay shame movement.88Neil DeGrasse TysonNeil deGrasse Tyson tries to make science accessible to whomever wants to reach out and touch it.89Alexi Lalas, Kevin MattsonStephen questions whether America should embrace soccer, and Kevin Mattson thinks Jimmy Carter was underappreciated.90Nicholas KristofThe Supreme Court takes its recess, and Nicholas Kristof discusses "It's Time to Learn From Frogs" after crossing five lanes of busy traffic.91Ed ViestursCongress passes a renewable energy bill, and climber Ed Viesturs scales Stephen's ego.92Paul Rieckhoff, Paul KrugmanThe Sotomayor confirmation hearings begin, and New York Times columnist Paul Krugman knows a lot about money.93Leymah GboweeStephen suggests looking for change in the folds of Barney Frank, and asks Leymah Gbowee where Liberia is.94Douglas RushkoffThere's bad news for people with target-shaped birthmarks, and Douglas Rushkoff lets Jews and Freemasons off the hook.95Edmund AndrewsStephen is emotionally dead inside, and Ed Andrews should write about teen vampires if he wants to get out of debt.96Geoffrey Canada, Bob ParkGeoffrey Canada can't find any area where white men are being disproportionately victimized and Bob Park doesn't understand why humans need go to space when robots can do a better job.97Dr. Aaron CarrollStephen will be the mighty oak when he investigates Acorn, and Aaron Carroll believes America should have a single-payer system.98Matthew Waxman, Chris AndersonThe truth behind the CIA's secret assassination squad is revealed, and Chris Anderson talks about a future economy where everything is free.99Zev ChafetsThe British announce plans to cut and run, Tom Vilsack drops out of the presidential race, and Zev Chafets angles for a Christmas present.100Movits!A report on tasers may shock you, and Swedish band Movits! helps Stephen put his Ikea futon together101Arianna HuffingtonArianna Huffington was born in the United States, but she cultivated an accent to give herself an air of being an ethnic minority.102Kevin BakerLance Armstrong comes in third in the Tour de France, and Kevin Baker says Obama is the new Hoover.103Kathryn BigelowKathryn Bigelow's war movie, "The Hurt Locker," is getting great reviews, despite not having explosions and ear-splitting sound effects.104General Anthony ZinniPresident Obama finds a way to pay for health care, and General Anthony Zinni will wax Stephen's chest.105Kurt AndersenAccording to Kurt Andersen, the economic and health crises give Americans a brief chance to get things where they want them.106Kris KobachKris Kobach wants to fight illegal immigration on the local level and reward the people willing to come to this country legally.107Meryl StreepStephen reviews the movies that are destroying America and talks to Meryl Streep about her role as Julia Child.108Sen. Barbara BoxerVladimir Putin returns to the spotlight, and Stephen interviews Barbara Boxer with deaf suspicion.109Jonathan CohnAfghanistan prepares for Bring Your Rocket Launcher to Work Day, and Jonathan Cohn explains why America's having a health care crisis.110Mark JohnsonAmericans speak Glenn Beck's mind at town hall meetings, and Mark Johnson spreads peace through music.111Mark DevlinGlenn Beck loses his sponsors, and Mark Devlin uses giant balloons to life telescopes to the edge of space.112Bill McKibbenReporters get so desperate they'll even work for a newspaper, and Bill McKibben lowers carbon dioxide levels by not exhaling when he talks.113Robert Wright114Ang LeeAng Lee captures the hope and optimism of tired, dirty kids in his movie, "Taking Woodstock."115Chris MatthewsThe Earth's population nears 7 billion, and Chris Matthews discusses his documentary, "The Kennedy Brothers."116Cory BookerThe health care debate rages on, MTV's VMAs deliver a shock, and Cory Booker admits he is the mayor of Newark.117Christiane AmanpourChristiane Amanpour is going to make Americans care about the rest of the world with her CNN show "Amanpour."118Tony DanzaObama indoctrinates America's school children, Tucker Carlson reveals Muslims' influence on textbooks, and The Flaming Lips perform.119Frank BruniStephen resurrects the U.S. military technique of staring at a goats and Frank Bruni talks about mastering his addiction to compulsive eating as a food critic for the New York Times.120Tue, Sep 22, 2009The Senate votes to allow guns on trains, and Shai Agassi wants us all to drive electric cars.121AJ JacobsAJ Jacobs' life experiments include following all the rules of the Bible, trying to be the most rational person alive and radical honesty.122Ken BurnsThe Republican Party is accused of racism, another holiday is under attack, and Ken Burns makes a documentary about national parks.123Sheryl WuDunnSheryl WuDunn believes giving women loans and educating girls is the way to lift developing nations out of poverty.124Matt Latimer / Out Of The ClosetAn exciting new tobacco product hits the market, and Matt Latimer recalls his Bush speechwriting days.125Wed, Sep 30, 2009Stephen has an update on his space treadmill, and he'll evolve Richard Dawkins' book into tiny shreds of paper.126Francis CollinsFrancis Collins informs Stephen that it's going to take time for stem cell research to give him crab claws.127Arne DuncanPresident Obama proposes a longer school year, and Arne Duncan could only get a job as a secretary.128The Mountain GoatsThe Mountain Goats perform "Psalms 40:2" from their album, "The Life of the World to Come."129Alison GopnikDoctors invent a radical new surgery, and Alison Gopnik says babies can help us understand deep philosophical questions.130Thu, Oct 8, 2009The media attacks Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh may buy a football team, and Colin Beavan makes no environmental impact.131Shashi Tharoor, Dr. Sanjay GuptaStephen takes on Norwegians for giving Obama the Nobel Peace Prize, plays tennis with James Blake and talks zombies with Sanjay Gupta.132David Javerbaum, Sylvia EarleStephen posts Twitter updates on Miley Cyrus, talks fetuses with David Javerbaum and asks Sylvia Earle why he should care about the ocean.133Amy Farrell, The RZAStephen gets angry over health care reform, discusses obesity with Amy Farrell, and talks wisdom with the RZA.134Jerry MitchellStephen proves that mayo is the illest condiment, asks Jerry Mitchell what a newspaper reporter is and unveils his new portrait.135Cornel WestStephen criticizes Washington State, endorses your job application and disagrees with everything Cornel West stands for.136Tue, Oct 27, 2009The Catholic Church reaches out to former members, and Gail Collins talks about the modern American woman.137Brian CoxStephen finds out what broke the largest particle accelerator and preps for his interview with Brian Cox by watching "Baby Einstein" tapes.138Bill SimmonsStephen talks to Rosanne Cash about torturing detainees with music and discusses "Teen Wolf" with Bill Simmons.139Nicholas ThompsonStephen sponsors the U.S. speedskating team, analyzes Arnold Schwarzenegger's breakfast and disputes the end of the Cold War with Nicholas Thompson.140Andrew SullivanStephen makes history with the U.S. Speedskating team, covers a gay couple's arrest on Mormon Church property and wants Andrew Sullivan to admit he's wrong.141Harold EvansStephen declares Barack Obama the loser, gets dunked in water by Al Gore and asks Harold Evans if he's going to be a chimney sweep.142Thu, Nov 5, 2009Stephen puts Canada on notice with Joey Cheek, introduces Vaxaconda and talks to William Bratton about McGruff the Crime Dog.143Mon, Nov 9, 2009Stephen asks Mike Castle why he can't marry a chicken, helps Katherine Reutter win a gold medal, and talks art with Thomas Campbell.144Maria ShriverStephen defends Barney Frank for not recognizing marijuana, enjoys a Taser XREP ad and feeds ice cream to Maria Shriver.145Christopher CaldwellStephen believes bankers are God's representatives, criticizes "Sesame Street" and asks Christopher Caldwell where the Muslim pope is.146Woody HarrelsonStephen uses Miracle Whip money to buy mayo, claims Lou Dobbs' audience and shaves Woody Harrelson's head.147Mon, Nov 16, 2009Stephen shows Barack Obama how to greet foreign leaders, offers to sing in Aerosmith, and discusses architecture with Paul Goldberger.148Malcolm GladwellStephen talks to Marc Kielburger about child labor, skateboards with Jackie Speier and asks Malcolm Gladwell to explain a New Yorker cartoon.149Norah JonesSarah Palin has a 400-page book, "2012" takes the world by storm, and Norah Jones talks about her famous father, Indiana.150Thu, Nov 19, 2009The Senate introduces a tax on plastic surgery, and Elvis Costello plays "Cheap Reward" with Stephen.151Dan Esty, Cevin SolingStephen talks to Dan Esty about global warming, forces Joseph Cirincione to play "Sanction, Bomb, Marry?" and compares school to prison with Cevin Soling152Tue, Dec 1, 2009Stephen profiles a made-up district, discusses alien Jesus with Guy Consolmagno and helps Sherman Alexie save part of white culture153Wed, Dec 2, 2009Stephen critiques President Obama's speech, presents a device that lets him poop whenever he wants, and questions Craig Watson's innocence154Thu, Dec 3, 2009Stephen covers Tiger Woods' car crash, tries out for the U.S. skeleton team and talks to Janet Napolitano about the color-coded threat level.155Mon, Dec 7, 2009Bill T. Jones describes how Fela Kuti fought against the Nigerian government with his music.156Senator Bernie Sanders, Andy SchlaflyStephen gives Bernie Sanders a chance to address the vicious socialist rumors and discusses the best of the public with Andy Schlafly.157Wed, Dec 9, 2009Stephen appeals to the monkey demographic, gets a visit from Krampus and calls out Goldman Sachs with Matt Taibbi.158Thu, Dec 10, 2009Stephen details Russia's battle plan for Afghanistan, tries out for the U.S. bobsled team and puts words in Lara Logan's mouth.159Snoop DoggStephen interviews President Obama's cardboard cutout, signs Katherine Reutter's thigh and pre-censors Snoop Dogg.160Alicia KeysJohn Slattery sells gold, Stephen relays the story of Treesus, and Alicia Keys performs her hit song.161Tom BrokawStephen encourages Tiger Woods, sees the ghost of Stephen King and remembers the wacky decade with Tom Brokaw.Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4Season 6Season 7Season 8Season 9Season 10Season 11
