Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

Season 1

2004 · 13 episodes

Middle schooler Ned Bigby assembles a survival guide for kids just like him to prepare them for the ups and downs of adolescence.

1Guide to: The First Day & LockersFirst Day: It's the first day of school, and Ned and Cookie discover Moze has taken Cooking instead of Art to separate herself from the guys for once. Lockers: When Ned's new locker neighbor gives him a bad rep, he searches for a new locker. Moze tries to use her locker to make new friends that are girls, but ends up competing with Suzie Crabgrass.
2Guide to: Bathrooms & Project PartnersBathrooms: Cookie tries to hold using the bathroom but gets stuck in the girls' room. Moze puts Ned's name on a bathroom stall, and someone puts kissy lips next to it. Project Partners: Moze must choose a partner for Social Studies. Ned and Cookie's baby is kidnapped.
3Guide to: Detention & TeachersTeachers: Ned clashes with Mr. Sweeney and realizes how to get an A, by doing the work! Moze has a new student teacher in math who she devises a plan with so the class with listen after it has gone crazy. Cookie is distracted by the beautiful Ms. Enstile and tries to control his affection toward her. Detentions: Ned, Cookie and Moze are sent to detention.
4Guide to: Seating & TryoutsSeating: Ned and Cookie to figure out how to sit at the cool table. Moze changes when she moves to the front of Science class and does so good that the teacher reverses the room, making Moze in back.. Gordy helps Cookie create the ultimate bus bounce. Tryouts: Ned tries to ascend to the basketball team and tries to become taller so he'll make the team. Moze goes out for volleyball, basketball, track, but must decide between them. With some help from Ned, she decides which is right for her. Cookie tumbles into cheerleading and demands equal rights after being kicked out.
5Guide to: Crushes & DancesCrushes: Ned has a crush on Suzie and Cookie has developed a "perfect match" computer program. Coconut Head follows Moze and she thinks that Coconut head wants to ask her to the dance. Dances: Ned wants to dance with Suzie. But with her getting together and breaking up, will he be able to dance with her? Moze has dance tips of her own while Cookie waits for supermodel Martika after forcing to get her to be his perfect match.
6Guide to: Sick Days & Spelling BeesSick Days: Ned must stay healthy when the flu hits Polk Middle School and he finds out Matt Hoffman is coming to visit. Cookie tries to keep his perfect attendance record in tact with help from Lisa. Moze tries to get sick and miss her speech in Social Studies. Not succeding, Moze must make her speech but finds out it is easier than she thought. Spelling Bee: Cookie is the only one with a chance to beat the dreaded Killer Bees. With an easy spell at the spelling bee, will it be Ned who beats the Killer Bees? Moze copes with sitting by Mr. Gross after spelling a word wrong.
7Guide to: Rumors & Photo DayRumors: Rumors terrorize the group; a rumor spreads that Ned and Moze are dating, and Cookie and Gordy fight against Mr. Sweeney to see if a rumored "atomic flush" is true, and Ned develops a plan for it. Photo Day: It's Photo Day at James Polk. Ned gives Moze a crash course on how to take a good picture, and Cookie holds auditions for someone to take his picture for him.
8Guide to: Talent Show & School ElectionsSchool Elections: Ned doesn't want to run for class president because it's a popularity contest. Moze and Cookie think he'd be great. Ned tries to drop out by vandalizing, starting food fights, and that. It comes down to the undecided vote, Coconut Head! Now its a mission to find out who he will vote for. Talent Show: Ned and Cookie create "Talentpalooza" when kids are excluded from the school talent show. Moze must decide which of her many talents would be good for the show. Cookie gets people out of the regular talent show and into "Talentpalooza" which gets the principal mad.
9Guide to: Computer Lab & BackpacksComputer Lab: Ned and Moze are banned from the computer lab. Cookie learns about life away from technology thanks to Lisa Zemo. Ned and Moze disguise themselves to get back in the lab. Backpack: Ned needs a new backpack after his breaks so he goes to Backpack Boy for help. Moze loses her backpack so she needs to find it before somebody reads her personal diary. Cookie creates the "bodypack" so he doesn't need a backpack, but it backfires on him due to Loomer.
10Guide to: Notes & Best FriendsNotes: Bitsy has Ned pass a note and Sweeney catches him, now he must pay. He has to write an essay along with everyone else so they plot revenge. Cookie finds joy in forging notes, but danger comes when he leads the teachers to the forgers "domain". Best Friends: Moze continues her search for a new best friend with a quiz and whoever matches up closely is meant for her. But Moze ends up joining the Huge Crew. The Killer Bees recruit Cookie which puts Ned and Cookie's friendship to the test. Ned tries to find a new best friend in place of Cookie.
11Guide to: Day Dreaming & GymDaydreams: Ned daydreams in Science class. Sweeney challenges the class to answer a riddle before they can go to lunch. Fairly Odd Parents lend Ned a hand, along with super agent Moze and Tech Wizard Cookie. Gym: Moze and Ned spar in martial arts and Ned gets thrown for a loop. So now Ned practices to beat Moze, after being humiliated by being beaten by a girl. Cookie must pass Derga's gym requirements so he does Seth's homework in return for Seth to do Cookie's laps for him.
12Guide to: Cheaters & BulliesCheaters: Ned must decide if he's going to cheat on a test. Bitsy keeps copying Moze's work so Moze develops a plan to get Bitsy in trouble. Cookie develops a system for studying and is accused of cheating which leads him to take his test without any tools, proving a point to the teacher. Bullies: Loomer is looking for Ned and Cookie, they decide to make a stand. Moze and Claire start Peer Mediation to help with problems at school The only problem is that they cannot find a teacher worthy of leading Peer Mediation. But when they find him, it is too late to stop Ned and Lumer's fight?
13Guide to: Emergency Drills & Late BusEmergency Drills:Every time Ned wants to ask Suzie to Chandra Taylor's party an emergency drill distracts him. Eventually, Ned gets to ask Suzie and she accepts. The only problem is Ned can't go to the party because he, Cookie, and Moze are trapped in Gordy's extra supply locker. Late Bus: When bus number 9 breaks down, all the kids are stuck waiting for another bus. Loomer makes a deal with Ned that he won't bully him for an entire year if Ned helps him get Moze's attention. Meanwhile, Cookie is leading a "Cookie's Late Bus After School Tour" in which he shows kids what teachers do after hours. We see Coach Dirga crying over a soap opera, and the worst possible thing ever, a teacher rap group taught by Lil' Romeo. Also, Moze makes friends with another Jennifer, but finds out it's her last day. And what we have seen, this may lead to a friendship between Moze and Suzie Crabgrass.

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