Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

Season 2

2005 · 20 episodes

Alongside his pals Cookie and Moze, Ned tackles a new semester with an ambitious to-do list while sharing his own tips on how to survive middle school.

1Guide to: New Semester & ElectivesNew Semester: Ned seeks his first kiss from Suzie Crabgrass which is on his "new semester list", but first he enlists Moze's help to break up Suzie and Loomer. By breaking them up Ned would have Suzie. Meanwhile, Cookie starts the new semester with a new super cool look and becomes a bully. Electives: Ned, Moze and Cookie try out different electives so they can finally get a class together and score an easy "A."
2Guide to: Pep Rallies & LunchPep Rallies: Ned becomes school mascot Wolfie, so he can miss class. Moze struggles to give a peppy speech and Cookie tries to spice it up with his own Super Cookie halftime stunt! Together they realize the true meaning of pep rallies isn't about cheerleaders and jocks, but it can be about getting you in spirit with normal people. Lunch: Ned tries to stop "One Bite" who's taking is lunch and eating it in "one bite." After devising a plan with hot sauce, Ned is sure "One Bite" won't steal his lunch anymore. Moze wonders why Suzie doesn't want to sit with her at lunch. Moze tries everything she can possibly think of, yet none of it works. Cookie panics after lunch lady predicts doom.
3Guide to: School Clubs & Video ProjectsVideo Projects - Ned and Cookie team up to make the ultimate video project. But the ultimate video project is easier said, than done. Moze makes a documentary about Mr. Wright, who's acting way too cool and not himself. School Clubs - Ned tries to stop Missy's Popular Club. Ned feels it is taking over the school and that Missy thinks everybody is a nerd. Moze and Suzie compete in every single club to be the best but it backfires and they get kicked out. So they have only one club left to choose from. Which club will they join? Cookie starts his own club, the Archaeology Club which helps Ned get into Missy's club and bring him all around the school.
4Guide to: Notebooks & MathNotebooks: Ned and Gordy caper to swipe Sweeney's "Golden Notebook." Moze finds a notebook full of juicy school rumors and Cookie invents the video notebook. Math: Ned starts a math study group with the smartest kids in class, but they soon realize that Ned isn't doing any work. Moze is faced with the challenge of pre-algebra and Cookie is promoted to 8th grade honors math, but his teacher is crazy.
5Guide to: Vice Principals & MondaysA series of school property destruction incidents leads to the introduction of Vice Principal Crubbs, who suspects Ned, Moze and Cookie. So, the three take the investigation into their own hands, CSI-style. Ned and Moze try to come up with ideas to beat the Monday morning blues; Cookie must help Gordy stay awake on Monday.
6Guide to: Your Body & ProcrastinationYour Body: Moze freaks when she feels she is too tall. After crushing somebody's project, she really wants to become short. Ned tries to become strong after Coach agreed to Loomer that they'd have a weight lifting competition. Cookie tries to become overprotective so Loomer won't hurt him. Procrastination: Moze bets Ned that he won't finish his project on time and the loser has to stand in front of the school as a clown. Cookie creates a machine that will stop his procrastination problems. Moze also needs to learn to clog dance.
7Guide to: Gross Biology Dissection & Upper ClassmenUpperclassmen: Ned offers to give a 5th grader a tour of the school. Moze likes an upperclassman. Gross Biology Dissection: Ned is torn between Moze and Suzie during a biology dissection project.
8Guide to: Dares & Bad HabitsClassmates dare Ned to ask out Missy; Moze must wear a dress as part of a dare and meets three girls she suspects are robots; Cookie competes with Loomer to be the "King of Dares". Ned tries to fix his bad habit of saying yes to everyone; Moze tries to fix her habit of trash-talking; Cookie tries to replace his technology hoarding habit with something else.
9Guide to: Substitute Teachers & The New KidSubstitute Teachers:Ned helps Mr. Weiner, a favorite substitute from Elementary School get in touch with his middle school side. Cookie poses as a substitute teacher. Moze becomes bad-girl material and misbehaves to the new science substitutes. The New Kid: Ned tries to help a new kid, Bernice, at James K. Polk. Gordy compete against a new janitor that could take over his spot.
10Guide to: Valentine's Day & School WebsitesSchool Websites: Ned, Moze and Cookie make changes to the school website. Valentine’s Day: Ned sends Suzie a rose. Cookie sends himself multiple rose to try to be the hottest kid in school, and Moze becomes the hottest girl in school.
11Guide to: Shyness & NicknamesNicknames: Ned tries to create a new, cool nickname for himself by doing wild stunts but ends up injuring himself in the end, while Moze decides she no longer likes her nickname (Moze) and tries to have her friends simply call her "Jennifer." Cookie invents a nicknaming machine that Loomer quickly steals for his bullying advantage. Cookie sets out to fix what he messed up, while Ned has trouble calling Moze Jennifer. Shyness: Ned finds the Obo twins to be a perfect match for his girlfriend needs and Moze's best-girlfriend need. The only problem is that they're too shy. So Ned and Moze try to make over the twins. Cookie starts up his own shyness seminar.
12Guide to: Asking Someone Out & RecyclingAsking Someone Out: Ned hires some people to find out if Suzie will go on a date with him. Recycling: Ned, Cookie, and Moze compete to win a mountain bike in a recycling contest. Everything they collect is stolen, but Cookies idea of glueing bottles together ends up in him having it bought by an art collecter. Ned loses the guide in the recycling madness, and Moze sneaks into the teacher's lounge to collect recycling.
13Guide to: April Fools Day & ExcusesApril Fools Day: Ned, Cookie, and Gordy team up to fool the king of April Fooling: Vice Principal Crubbs. Moze tries to break up with Seth, but he thinks it's a prank. Excuses: When a dog actually eats Ned's homework, nobody believes his excuse.
14Guide to: Secrets & School Car WashSchool Car Wash: The boys and the girls compete in the school fundraiser to see who can wash more cars. The boys team wants a hot tub, but the girls want to use the money more wisely. The boys, mainly Loomer, have bigger concerns than winning, while the girls band together to win. Secrets: Ned and Cookie see Loomer kissing Missy. So they have to keep this a secret or else.... Meanwhile, Loomer's friend tries to tell everyone that he is in the sewing club. Moze learns Seth can't read or write well, and really feels she should tell someone.
15Guide to: Spirit Week & ClothesSpirit Week: The King and Queen of Spirit are destined to go out; always! And Suzie wins the girls side with ease, to continue the family tradition of being spirit week queen. Knowing this, Ned gets in a battle with Martin Qwerly for Spirit Week King. Cookie and Moze get stuck with the spirit stick and can't let it touch the ground or cause the school to have bad luck. Clothes: Ned and Moze get tickets from Missy’s newly formed fashion police. Cookie creates a school uniform.
16Guide to: Yearbook & Career WeekYearbook: Ned tries to win “Best Smile” in order to be next to Suzie Crabgrass in the yearbook forever. Cookie tries hacks into the yearbook and makes some changes. Career Week: Vice Principal Crubbs wants Ned to pursue a career in education, but Ned isn't interested. Cookie decides he wants to be a sports agent and signs Moze as his client.
17Guide to: Music Class & Class ClownMusic Class: Ned and Cookie try to survive the boredom and tedium of learning an instrument in Music Instruction class while Moze gets Mozart music stuck in her head in Music Appreciation and can't get it out. Class Clown: When the Class Clown moves to Cleveland, Ned, Cookie, and Moze do an all out search for a new clown before things get to depressing at Polk. But everyone who tries gets in trouble with Crubbs.
18Guide to: Failing & TutorsFailing: Ned is warned that he must ace all his final exams or he might stay back a grade. Moze gets her first "F" ever and panics, doing everything she can to plan more study time, including quitting volleyball and not wahing her hair. Cookie tries to fail tests on purpose to avoid advancing to High School. Tutors: Ned has to find a tutor in order to avoid summer school. Moze gets into some tutor trouble by having a bunch of sixth graders fall in love with her. Cookie is paired up with the nastiest "tooter" of all for his final Social Studies project.
19Guide to: Science Fair & Study HallNed enlists Moze's help to win a ribbon in the science fair; Cookie attempts to impress Vanessa and her grandmother. Ned tries to study for a test, but he is constantly distracted; Moze gets injured and must wear a traction device, which makes nobody want to talk to her; Cookie tries to sneak out of study hall to meet Vanessa, but the teacher refuses to give him the bathroom pass early.
20Guide to: Double Dating & The Last DayDouble Dating: For the final dance of the school year, Ned and Suzie double date with Moze and hunk Jock Bitterman. Cookie meanwhile is asked by Lisa and says yes. Soon after Vanessa says yes, so Cookie must take Lisa and Vanessa to the dance and keep them separated.The Last Day: Ned and Moze try to figure the best way to tell Suzie about “the kiss”. Determined to catch the weasel before the summer, Gordy lets Cookies Battle Bot free in the halls, where it unleashes havoc.

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